Driving to the gym I noticed something that I have been noticing more and more in just the past few weeks. People positioned at the stoplights of busy intersections holding signs describing the death of a baby hustling to collect money for funeral expenses. The sign will of course have some details of the baby with some vague horrific story of how this baby was taken away much too early and now the family, unprepared, has funeral expenses to cover.
I hate to sound callous and cynical, but I don’t believe it at all. I believe these are the same type of people who strategically position themselves at a four way stop of Costco, Walmart or some other busy store. They would be camped out at the stop sign so they at least briefly had a captive audience. Often times these people would also parade their kids along to hopefully tug at the heartstrings of passersby. Oddly though, one could look across the street to the McDonalds that prominently displayed “Now Hiring” on their signage. They probably made more and had to put out much less effort panhandling though. Curious what type of work ethic (ethics at all) the kids will grow up to have. What an example for the parents to set.
Well, I think that game got played out. I think the well dried up and people stopped feeling guilty seeing the poor family and kids hanging out at the stop sign. Now there is a new game in town and I call it funeral fraud. Now that the kids aren’t drawing in the funds they have to turn to dead kids. Get some poster board, print up a pic from the internet of a baby, or hell, maybe even use a baby picture of your own kid and write up a mini fake obit on the poster board. Wait for rush hour and go to a busy intersection. Now you can use your dead kid to draw in funds, until that well dries up.
I remember a time not too long ago when there was an actual funeral for an actual child (or any unexpected death) where the family wasn’t prepared to cover expenses…however rather than just camp out at an intersection and expect handouts they would host a car wash….you would actually get something or a service for your contribution, not just handing over money. Why no car wash?? I’m in AZ, it’s not like winter is a problem. It will be interesting to see the evolution to the next scam. Myself. I will just sit back and “Enjoy The Decline”
With taking the Red Pill there may come a time that you feel somewhat depressed. In my case reviewing the past and seeing missed opportunities gives me a slight feeling of regret and depression. While depression and regret is not very Machiavellian or Red Pill, I must learn to use these recognitions to avoid missing opportunities available to me now and in the future. I can’t become focused on looking backwards that I end up missing opportunities that might be in front of me now, and opportunities to come.
In my younger days I was absolutely fearless. I would talk to people, girls, etc. w/o censoring myself or getting worked up in my head before talking to them. In fact I had a friend who made the comment that he always liked hanging out with me because he felt better and more confident about himself when he was around me.
But then I started to age and started to fill the “role prescribed by society”. I started to behave more beta and would censor myself before talking…I became a “nice guy”. I would worry about talking to girls for fear of possibly offending them, saying the wrong thing or interrupting whatever it was they were trying to do. I became a shell of a man.
But now that I am digesting the Red Pill and I see the error in my ways from my beta, nice guy days…however I must learn to temper reviewing the past for missed opportunities as a self-education exercise to that I becoming wallowed in looking backwards. I must move forward and act accordingly with my knowledge from the past.
We are now in Q4 of 2013 and it is time to start planning for what I want to accomplish in 2014. It really does not good to come up with a New Year’s Resolution on New Year’s Eve. How effective is that? Given that there was probably alcohol consumed and I am not in a contemplative and reflective mode whatever I come up with would probably be some bullshit, feel good in the moment goal.
I started to keep an Excel spreadsheet and will add a worksheet for each new year. Down one of the columns I list each month and as the month passes I visit the spreadsheet and strikethrough the text and fill the cell red to give me an alarming visualization of the passing time. Also in the spreadsheet I list some of my objectives & trajectories. Sadly reviewing 2013 I did not accomplish much. Even sadder is a lot of these did not require any resources other than my carving out time to do them. It really is sad to see definitively the passing of time and lost opportunities!! I have let excuses and laziness get in the way of meeting the objectives I set for myself. For one, I let my job consume more time than I should have. I did work from home for the majority of the year so that cut out a huge amount of commuting time I still would offer to pick up more OT than I would have liked. The OT however did afford me the opportunity to take two trips that I did have on my list for 2013 so all was not lost. Perhaps I did not WANT what I had put on my spreadsheet but simply wished for them?
2014 however has to be a different year. A complete reboot if you will. My focus will be on me, developing my dark triad/Machiavellian personality. My objectives will be primary and work will be secondary. It is frustrating to see 1/3rd or more of my check syphoned away to taxes, benefits, etc. This coming year I have the opportunity to sign up for an HSA rather than traditional benefits…this means I will be able to take the HSA with me if/when I leave my job. In addition to developing myself I will focus on my side hustles. I will work to the point that side hustles are able to replace my income. In addition to my side hustles I have some women goals – As others have written HERE developing oneself will/should lead to more success with women rather than working on just pursuing women. Working on oneself will have reward me multifold. By working towards getting forward momentum on my career(side hustles)/income and fitness trajectories that should in turn make it easier to meet attractive, quality women.
Now I do not plan on making further posts about my goals but will post as I accomplish them. I tend to agree with the camps that say that announcing your goals makes you less likely to achieve them.
Why is it that I have an aversion to spending money? It makes life very unpleasant. For some odd reason I would rather sit on cash than spend and enjoy it…a sad life. I think a lot of this has to do with my upbringing. I was raised by a single mom who was frugal. While I was provided for I grew up in an environment of saving rather than spending. A sad life. I remember going to the State Fair as a kid. We would pack up the car early so we could park inside the fairgrounds…certainly can’t pay someone who lives nearby to park on their lawn of course…must park in fair grounds and go early to ensure parking. Then we would pack breakfast, lunch and snacks. It’s the F’ng State Fair…you eat at the State Fair, but not my family. You go to the Fair, you can look at the food and watch other people enjoying it but certainly we couldn’t spend $$ buying food at the Fair. We would roam about for a few hours and then head back to our on the grounds parked car and break out our picnic basket of goodies. Oh the joy and fun of watching other people enjoy all types of deep fried on a stick food but I get to go back to the car and eat casserole from a thermos or a nasty sandwich that got soggy while sitting in the cooler.
While I hated this as a kid oddly enough I find myself exhibiting the same behaviors…not to such an extreme, but I do find myself not enjoying the fruits of my labor like I should. I have been improving however. A few recent trips to Vegas I have stayed in more upscale/center strip hotels rather than the $29 per night at the Riviera way at the north end of the strip. I am also spending money more freely on good things for myself like organics & natural foods.
Like Eminem says in Berzerk “life’s too short to not go for broke”. This mentality of just sitting on money is not very red pill or Machiavellian.
There are times that I worry (yeah, not a good alpha/redpill trait) that I may burn out at some point. I find myself wondering “what if I push and try to expand my boundaries so much that I lose control…like Icarus or Phaeton and just burn out…plummeting down to levels worse than when I was a white knighting blue pill beta.”
There have been a few times in my life when I just launched into doing something and pulled off what I set out to do. Why do I concern myself with the possibilities of something bad happening?? I know growing up, raised a lot by my Grandma (a post will be coming on that)…she constantly worried…never a thought to what may go right but always what may go wrong and of course the absolute worst case scenario would consume her thoughts and language. I need to learn to harness that spirit and mindset that I had during the times I just acted. I find it curious too…why is it that the APA, etc. find issue with alpha types, ex. Rahm Emanuel, who have by some been labeled a hypomanic. Why is it that credentialed organizations have labeled those who excel as having some type of disorder or deficiency? Is it to help soothe the psyches of those who aren’t as successful…they can sit back and think “thank goodness I don’t suffer from….? Objective for myself is to work on worrying less on what may go wrong and focus my thoughts on what actions I can be taking to propel me forward….key taking action. I find that sadly ironic that I point out TAKING ACTION…reviewing some books that I have and the highlights that I made…they all focused on taking action, thinking/studying less…..at least I’m not thinking about starting a blog anymore….
In a previous post on learning to love the job that I hate, I found new inspiration here….
Like the security guard example my job really affords me the perfect opportunity to work side hustles. I work from home….and as mentioned before; management does not really push performance. And, I only work 4 days a week. There is no good reason (errr…excuse) that I can use to not be focusing on side hustles and bringing in some more $$. I am in an even better position than the security guard example because I do earn a pretty good wage.
What I do need to learn to be cognizant of is what needs to be or what can be done when. Example…stuff that I need to do outside in the yard I need to do during daylight hours whereas other stuff, online and whatnot can be done whenever (outside of any pressing deadlines or commitments to others).
Some things I plan on working on are: more writing, studying blackjack and card counting strategies, learning some web development….code academy, etc. and possibly working on getting certified in personal training. I have vacillated back and forth a lot on personal training….while I love to work out and the gym is my “happy place” considering the cost benefit analysis I don’t know if that would be a worthwhile pursuit.
This was probably one of the most inspiring and a punch to the gut posts I have read. This post had such a resonance with me. For so much of my life I had been such a big dreamer…yet never taking any action towards my dreams. Enough of this!!!! I must “kill my inner Walter Mitty”….reinvent myself. I am to the point in my life where I am looking back with some regrets over lost/missed opportunities and wasted time. Matt’s statement “So what? So you didn’t fulfill one of your dreams back then; you gonna let that stop you now? You pissed away your childhood, now you’re gonna piss away the rest of your life?” is a life changer! Yes, there are some regrets that I will never be able to recapture. Ex. I was in the military when I was much, much younger. Before going I took the ASVAB but never researched what the scores meant (my fault)…I listened to the recruiter and took a boring MOS that had a nice signing bonus…but now, in hindsight I see that my score could have afforded me numerous opportunities or schools (Ranger, SF Q course, etc.)…while I don’t know that I necessarily may have passed those courses I never took the opportunity to test myself and see. At this point though it is too late to capture those…but…what I need to focus on now are the opportunities that I CAN take advantage of and the time that I do have now. There is no more time left to be a Walter Mitty!